My insides all turned to ash

My insides all turned to ash, so slow
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold
A black wind took them away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone

On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day

Whats happening with me?

Why am i becoming so rude?

Suddenly no one likes me!!

My friends started to avoid me!!

is this becoz of my behavior?

Wats happening to me!!!

I cant concentrate on any thing!

I am thinking of things i never thought before!

I am thinking of blood shed which gives me relief from my sufferrings

This is not right!

I was never like this!

Why am i becoming violent?

I was never like this!

Suddenly violence,murder and blood shed entertains me!!

Am i becoming mad?

DOES INFATUATION TRIGGERS TO THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR?

i dont know!!

but what i do know is if this thing continues i will completely loose myself!!

One sided Love

Ever felt the pain of one sided love?

Know how it feels when the only person who u love likes someone else!?

It feels like i am alone,

I am left out,

Feels like every one hates you!

Life is miserable

This makes u stop believing in love

AM I OVER REACTING?

AM I THE 1ST PERSON WHO'S THE VICTIM OF ONE SIDED LOVE?

NO I AM NOT!!!!

AM I OVERREACTING?

WHY WONT I?

makes me angry when my frnds tell me to give up!

y will i give up?

Then i will hav to take the fact that that i dont deserve her!

THIS IS THE PAIN OF ONE SIDED LOVE!!!!!!!!!

Why is it always me??

All the things i have wanted from my heart! i failed to get it

don't know why is it always me!!

Yesterday was the reunion of A section! the section I studied in from class 1 to 6! it has been the most important part of my school life!

She also came to the reunion! 

I still like her 

and i know i wont get her!!

this is not the first time for me!!

she has someone in her life and a frustrated depressed moron like me has  no place in any ones life!!

my attitude towards life has changed!! sometimes i feel to leave this place and go to the mountains!

and become a sage!

Thats the best i can do!!

this just goes on and on and on!!

life has become mechanical!

its not like before!!

or is it only me?

i dont know why sometimes i feel theres no god!!

and sometimes i pray to god to make my life better!!

I hate my life!!!

Sometimes i hate myself!

Sometimes i hate every one!!

LIFE HAS DUMPED ME!

Then wats the use of living such a life?

Why i am still alive?

Probably i am scared to take my life!

I want a new life faar away from the pains of this life!!

i want to leave this city this "state"

and go somewhere where no one will find me!

but dont know where that somewhere is as i am chained with social ropes and boundaries